i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
