the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
