we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
