How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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