so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
