I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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