I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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