Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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