Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm sobbing to NWA
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
There are leaves in my underwear?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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