Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize