Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
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What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
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Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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