What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
They are going to name an STD after you.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
