the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
