So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
