Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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