What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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