I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
