Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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