I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
