is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Randomize
