the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
