Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
