If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
