in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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