So drunk its hurt
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
