I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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