ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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