I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
