Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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