woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize