Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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