Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
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He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
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How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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