You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
