the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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