One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
COCAINE IS GR8
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
