You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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