3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I didn't notice because vodka
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Randomize
