ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
