Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
