when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
