She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
