im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Sorry my hands just texted you
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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