How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
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stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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