Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
