So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize