i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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