So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
