I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
