So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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