ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
