What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
