that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize