Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
