Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
