I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
