i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
