That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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