I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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