I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
