Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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