don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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