I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
