I only kidnapped one of them. chill
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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