we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
