Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
