? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
