did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
this is an emotional support booty call
Randomize
