I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
